Aren’t you just glad that BRICS fever is behind us already? The way we were being bombarded with BRICS this, BRICS that, you would have thought by the end of the summit that all the challenges in our country would be things of the past.

But, alas, while the who’s who of politics, business and hangers-on were BRICSing it out in glitzy Sandton, our national sports – crime, corruption, poor service delivery, lawlessness – continued as usual.

While the Sandton streets were kept safe and clean for the benefit of international visitors, just a few kilometres away to the west, zama zamas continued their daily toil of claiming what’s left of the country’s mineral resources.

Hey, what if the zama zamas are merely carrying out what the ANC’s Freedom Charter promised and failed to deliver – that the national heritage of all South Africans, including the banks, the industries and mineral resources beneath the soil shall be restored to the people?

What’s missing from the BRICS hype is babies born during the summit being named after it or after some of the leaders attending it.

Knowing my fellow Africans, especially those in the northern parts of the country, it wouldn’t be unusual to have a child named Jinping Mudau, Putin Ngobeni or even Brics Summit Maswanganye.

In the early ’90s, when the Nats unbanned political parties and released leaders from jail, hospitals and clinics were inundated with newborns being named Nelson, Rolihlahla, ANC, Exile, Freedom, Democracy, Elections…

The BRICS Summit managed to keep Fikile Mbalula reasonably quiet and restrained, but it failed to stop the ongoing chaos in the Congress of the People (Cope).

Chinese President Xi Jinping, the star of the BRICS Summit, had hardly put down his cup of green tea when Dennis Bloem announced he was quitting Cope.

Ag well, Bloem’s announcement demonstrated just how quitting this ailing party has become as normal as robbing a cash-in-­transit vehicle. Hence, perhaps, it took him just a lousy two lines to announce his resignation to the media.

After so many years of being in the heart of Cope politics and involved in its physical, emotional, political and coping battles, Bloem might have been expected to put out a thesis outlining his decision to cut ties with his former comrade and party owner, Mosiuoa Lekota.

Truth be told, resignations from this organisation that has since transformed into a ­Congress of the Person, under its uncompromising, unyielding, unmoved and untouchable leader Lekota, have become just as common and normal as Zanu-PF blatantly stealing an election and seeing absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Part and parcel of the African political landscape

I can’t really say I blame Zanu-PF, because rigging an election has now become part and parcel of the African political landscape and culture. It’s no longer news.

What constitutes news is the miracle of a free and fair election, where nobody is blud­geoned with a baton because they prefer a certain candidate and ballot papers are available at all polling stations that open at the designated time.

Ah, but you know, this is Africa…

Speaking of Zanu-PF, one wonders why the Zimbabwe election was not sommer held here on South African soil, seeing as there could be more Zimbabwean nationals, both legal and illegal, living in SA than there are back in the land of Emmerson Mnangagwa.

Those back in Zimbabwe, including Mnangagwa, would then have voted as international citizens and have their ballots sent to SA for counting and verification. It’s only fair under the circumstances, isn’t it?

The SA retail sector could have made resources available for Zim nationals to cast their ballots at the tills, you know.

Just think about it – cashiers could have asked voters, “Zanu-PF or CCC”? And the voters could have punched in details of their preferred candidate and the results could have been transmitted immediately to a central system to be counted and verified.

It would have made things a lot easier and rigging much more complicated and difficult. But, ah, this is Africa…

Now, the other day, after listening to a news update on the health of lifetime Inkatha Freedom Party leader Mangosuthu Buthelezi, I got the idea that Lekota might be trying to follow in the footsteps of this man who was once his political foe.

Buthelezi has led the party since its formation in 1975 and during that time those who cared about their political careers knew better than to challenge him for the leadership.

Even today, just a few years shy of his centenary, Buthelezi remains the de facto leader of the IFP, pulling the strings behind the scenes. Do I hear someone throw Bantu Holomisa of the United Democratic Movement into the mix?

Actually, have you noticed this irony: there’s nothing people-centred about organisations that call themselves people-­something; nothing democratic about organisations that call themselves democratic-something and equally no freedom within parties that call themselves freedom-­something?

It’s a curious kind of game … but it appears the BRICS Summit has inspired one Ace Magashule to come out of the political wilderness. Magashule, who was booted out of the ANC earlier this year, launched his new party, the African Congress for Transformation, on Wednesday. Is he perhaps eyeing the BRICS chairpersonship in the future? You never know with politics… DM

Mr Styles is the former president of the Organisation for Stylish People of South Africa (Osposa). He is against anything and anyone unstylish.

This satirical story first appeared in our weekly Daily Maverick 168 newspaper, which is available countrywide for R29.